Relational

It's been fun and enlightening going back out with the 'girls' this weekend.  Having "sheltered/secluded" myself from getting out and having fun, I realized that I was missing the 'city life' once again.  BUT...with a new/changed mindset on what I'm looking for and/or who I am/want to be, it was interesting to see and feel what the city life/getting out was like again. 

For me this started on Thursday evening, as I was heading out to the Chris Isaak concert in Woodinville.  I had asked a FWB, "C" to join me (and my girlfriend was supposed to also join US with her FWB) - anyways cut to the chase - sadly C was having a bad day and took the aggression out on me.  But our relationship (so to speak) had been one that he would state that it is "I" who has a dominant/aggressive behavior and that I am always wanting to "be in control".  Although I TRULY was in a good state of mind (my book reading & trying to change my behavior has helped), I asked C to just try and 'let go' so that we could enjoy the evening, the music and the time.  Apparently something else I said came across as still "trying to be in control" to which he then grabbed my arm (mind you I'm driving) and it was my sign/instinct that this FWB was truly not someone that I needed to spend a GOOD evening of music with.  So I quickly asked him, 'if you don't really want to go, you don't have to' - he then proceeded to jump out of the car (luckily just before getting on the highway) and to be quite honest, it made me SMILE...

This goes back to the book, "Holding grudges is one way of blaming others, and it's a huge energy drain.  Truly forgiving is having the ability in your heart and mind to say, "Thank you for giving me that experience."  If you can no longer communicate with the other person, send out a prayer vibration or write a letter of forgiveness that you don't even have to mail."  (To err is human, to forgive divine.)  Some of us need to get rid of the things that steal our energy or the things that we give energy to emotionally.  Be grateful for the lesson, let it propel you to right action, then forget it: anything more is self-indulgence. Make peace with him/her, say good-bye, forgive them and yourself, and reclaim your joy!

And for me, this RELEASE - (being in control - of myself) was good.  He's a wonderful man, good father, good friend and has some charm, but truly WE were/are not meant to be together, not even as FWB, friends or anything further.

The next morning, I was quite HAPPY with myself and I DID enjoy my solo evening of music, under the beautiful blue skies, people watching and listening to some good music. 

So, going out with Lynn & Yvette on Friday after work was also a new beginning for me (or a renewed beginning).  The ladies have a nice friendship and I quickly took a liking to Yvette.  Lynn has been supportive of me as well, during all my past dating fiasco's, being distant/secluded and to get the chance to get out again, it was enjoyable.  We started at happy hour and later went to dance (she enjoys the Bollywood style that is popular right now) but we also had the fun of walking around the city and just laughing.  Before heading to Trinity (for Bollywood) we had ample time to stop and grab some food, but I was quickly distracted by a band that was playing in a corner bar (J & M) close by.  I asked the ladies if I could go in there while they ate and as the saxophone player told the bouncer to 'let me in' (there was a $5.00 cover I didn't want to pay, since I didn't know how long we'd be) but was VERY happy that he ushered me in.

Lonnie Williams (the saxophonist) and the band he was playing with had a great jazz/blues/rockabilly sound and they were excellent singers and players.  Lonnie is the sweet (I find out at the break) big, black teddy bear from Louisiana/Texas but as he plays, he has a rather stern look.  And then the best part was when this very cute, sweet young man (I find out he was 26) year old marine asked me to dance and ends up literally swinging me off my feet.  He twirled, spun and even dipped me to laughter and a huge grin!  I definitely had two left feet, but found the rhythm occasionally to just enjoy.  And as he so quickly stated, "just hold on".  LOL

The girls were ready to go to Trinity, but I asked to stay for a little longer and would meet them a bit later.  I did and although the venue was fun, it was definitely not my style.  Although I went there before, with Jason, the dancing in the other room was more my style.  Yvette & I went in there for a bit, but after too many spilled drinks on us, we decided to head back to J & M.  Lynn stayed with a nice guy she knew and Yvette and I had the fun with Lonnie's band.  I even got my 'little swinger' (lol) to dance her off her feet once.  She enjoyed that as well.

So for a Friday night, I truly enjoyed the time, the fun, the laughs and the company of two very sweet, pretty ladies and the time to see what I'm like out again, being Single in Seattle...