Sunday, April 08, 2012

2012 Updates

I sit staring out the window to my amazing view after having just ready my best friends text.  “Morning cutie and happy Easter.  Hope you enjoyed the sun yesterday.  Miss ya.”  A huge flush comes over my face as I immediately fall right back into one of my sheepish grins.  This is the grin I tell him he ALWAYS puts over my face.  The grin that makes me know how much he means to me and how truly happy I am!

It’s Easter (just gonna say it too, I’m spiritual not religious but I appreciate those who believe in/how they want and if you DO know me, I am open minded) (that being said, thanks for the Easter well wishes & 2 cases, for the ‘sexually connotated’ text/emails last night – HA HA)  See, can’t change your spots!  HA HA
I’m doing laundry just waiting to get OUTSIDE into the gorgeous day.  This text made my day since I have to admit I am still scared to not ruin this wonderful friendship (?) with JMN (again).  I have to go back a bit to tell you that JMN was once someone I was involved with (I guess it’s been over 2 years ago) but at that time it was the wrong time for us both.  He was married and I wasn’t being fair to myself or him.  I fell for him then and I still feel the same for him now.  But the good thing is that HE ended it.  He did what he should do, went back to his wife and family and tried to make that work.  Since then, the marriage ended but he didn’t reach out to me (until the end of March), and given his new found ‘freedom’ it’s a much safer place for us both.  The reality though, he is still this wonderful amazing, thoughtful, giving, but ‘thinks things through’ man. 

The first recent meeting just brought back that huge grin I’ve always had about him.  Seeing him again, thinner, still scared and scarred but apparently in a happier (somewhat) place with himself.  I have to admit though, it was not easy wanting to just throw myself at him and we DID end up having sex, which he was SMART to tell me he didn’t want THAT – and now we are trying to keep that portion at bay.  But we have fallen into that lustful pattern and so luckily since he has his son for one week at a time, THIS week is a good way for me to try and leave him alone!!  J  Not going to say I haven’t been constantly thinking about him, but besides the sex, our friendship, laughs, conversations and just being with each other is TRULY what I always missed.
JMN brings out the softer side of me.  He makes me WANT to be a better woman, he says things to me that very few others have – in letting me be me, but also reminding me of the good I forget IS inside of me.  The writer, the explorer, the woman who just wants to be held and loved and who can be happy.  But this woman also knows that she doesn’t want to ruin this friendship/relationship.  I value, admire and respect it more than others I have had.  Because like him, I enjoy JMN being himself, his voice, his convictions, his strength, love, being an amazing father, his intelligence and the man HE IS!  It’s amazing hearing his stories again; now they seem to be more fluid, easier for him to want to share.  I sense the fear, the guarded trust, and the loneliness inside of him, but when we just cuddle or sit quietly I know that the both of us are so similar as well as we are so different.  We both have that trust issue.  I’m more verbal though and share everything while he is much more introverted and guarded.  But ironically, the pain we both share of our past is why I feel that I can always trust HIM.  It’s why I DO feel that he is my best friend.  Even coming back together, I still feel that friendship was never over.

So, that’s my recent personal story.  My family is still a bit odd, but I love each and every one of them.  They’ve had their own share of mishaps and turmoil’s, my kids still make me wonder if I’ve done the right thing and I love THEM like nothing or no one else (they will always come first).  My work life, if you’ve ever seen The Devil Wears Prada – I’m the assistant.  And as much as it sounds terrible, I still have that fear also that this role will END, but right now, as the sun shines through my amazing view, as the stupid grin is on my face, I don’t care!  Let it end – I’m HAPPY (have I said that enough?)!! 

Sunday, November 27, 2011

San Fran update & where I've been...

Sadly I didn't get the job that would have had me travelling to San Francisco monthly (they went with someone 'younger') (seriously she let that kind of slip...).  But, I believe that it might have been a good thing that I didn't get it.  As a semi start up, they could have used the experiences I have, but come to find out when trying to get my 'money back' (expenses that I didn't know I was going to incur, they charged ALL of the hotel bill to me), I had to call to find out where my reimbursement was.  I soon realized that this young group definitely has some learning to do.  Kind of sad though, I really looked forward to it, but I do have to realize that the tech world is always going to be newer and well... I'm not!  LOL  Anyways, got a fun quick trip to San Fran (1st time) out of the deal and some amazing pictures.  No regrets.

So, where I've been - got a call back from another job that I had initially applied for as well, one for a doctor/CEO for cancer research (they also hired someone else) - but poor woman's mom fell ill and she left the position after 5 weeks.  Apparently, I was the next candidate, so the HR Director called to see where I was and asked if I'd be interested in TEMPING for the position (with the potential of being hired).  Given the 'enticement' $$ he offered, uh, hello!! Hell yes!!  LOL   Hey, I'm old - I need the increase. 

I've been working there now for about a week (putting in lots of overtime) and now I'm getting ready to head to NEW YORK!!! for a Board meeting - yippie... (okay, so its work and the potential of getting OUT is slim) but at least I didn't have to pay for my hotel bill (or flight) here.  Older group.  (lol)  So look for the pictures (oh, but bought a mini camera) - the REBEL is a bit chunky and I have lots of work stuff to drag along too. 

Wish me luck peeps, I really would love to be in a position for a bit longer again - but just VERY grateful for the opportunities and the luck that has been given me.

Love ya!

Saturday, November 12, 2011

First visit to San Francisco

I was very fortunate to have been selected as one of the candidates for a position here in Seattle, with the corporate office in San Francisco.  So for the third round (with 6 individuals), they flew me to San Fran to meet the group for one-on-one interviews.  I flew out on Thursday morning and as soon as I arrived, I took the Bart (train) from airport directly to the office.  Luckily the day was gorgeous and I walked to the office (thankfully found from GPS on phone).  Immediately interviews started from 10:30 and the final one ending at 4:30pm.  After talking about myself more than I wanted (yes, I really hated repeating myself - lol) I then had the rest of the day to myself and decided to take my slightly heavy bag and walk to my hotel - again GPS.  Stupidly not realizing that there ARE some steep hills, but found The Rex just in time to freshen up and then enjoy the 'complimentary' glass of wine at happy hour.
View from my window
Then after a glass of wine & an appetizer, decided to stroll down the street to shops.


The next morning, I woke up to wish my sweet mom a HAPPY 79th Birthday (on 11/11/11)... and sadly DID wish I had brought her with me to enjoy this - but it's a goal to return (she has been wanting to come back to San Francisco)...
So after a good breakfast and mapping out a route, I decided to head out (unfortunately to RAIN) but I didn't want to let that dampen (no pun intended) my final hours in the city.  But I had to take my overnight bag with me, since I didn't plan on coming back toward the hotel (it is a little hike to the Bart).  (I later mapped the route on Map Walk and found out I had trekked 12.4 miles total) and on Saturday morning I actually fell getting out of bed since my calves were so tight.  ha ha
Here's some of the amazing pictures I did manage to take with the infamous Rebel (Canon). Enjoy...
THIS was one of the steeper hills (not good with a slightly heavy bag on shoulder).

After offering to take picture of two women from Chicago, they returned the favor and took one for me with my own Rebel. (As my sister said, I do need to have more people do that, especially since I offered 8 times during the day). 

Made it to Fisherman's Wharf, where the rain clouds finally went over (after some major drenching & frizzed hair). LOL
This was one last cloud that came over, so I had to head for a bit of cover for a moment to keep Rebel from getting wet.  But then... clear, beautiful skies once again and off I went.
Then made it after hiking from Pier 47 (near Ghiradelli Square) back to Pier 1 - this beautiful clock tower is the Ferry Building (Farmers Market) and ironically I returned in time to hear the bells when it struck twelve and then it played more in memory of Veteran's Day. 
I started back after listening in awe and a brief break to readjust the bag strap that was digging into my shoulder - to walk back into the city on Market street.  I had to get back on the Bart eventually to go to airport.
I didn't jump on the Trolley, but I did manage to walk to the end where the turn in (is from of the Civic Center) and ironically the Forever 21 store (daughter's job/company).  What a gorgeous store & building too.
I continued down the way for a bit more, where I realized that I started running more into the 'seedy' neighborhoods (we all have them) and thought this store was funny (next to the wig/weave shop and two of the more noticeable Gentlemen's Clubs).  LOL
I didn't share my 120 photos with you - but I hope you enjoyed some of the ones I did.  Hope to return too.